Most serious problems in life do not arrive with alarms sounding. They often enter quietly. They begin as small changes that seem insignificant at the time—a few extra pounds, a missed workout, a negative thought, an impatient response, a little resentment, or a questionable motive. Because the change is so small, we hardly notice it.
Then it happens again. And again. Eventually, something that once seemed minor has become part of who we are and how we live.
I call this “the creep.”
I have often discussed creeping obesity—the gradual accumulation of body weight that occurs over months and years. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that obesity is only one example of a much larger principle. Things can creep into virtually every area of our lives.
Our thoughts can creep.
Our attitudes can creep.
Our actions can creep.
Anger and bitterness can creep.
Even our motives can creep.
The danger is not necessarily the size of the first change. The danger is the direction in which we are moving.
Creeping Obesity
Consider body weight. Very few people wake up one morning 30 pounds heavier than they were the day before. Weight gain usually occurs gradually. Perhaps we gain two pounds over the holidays and never lose them. Then another three pounds appear during a stressful period. We exercise a little less. Portions become a little larger. Walking becomes less frequent. None of those individual decisions seems particularly serious. But small changes accumulate. Five pounds can become 10. Ten can become 20. Eventually, someone looks in the mirror or visits the doctor and wonders, “How did I get here?” The answer is usually: slowly. That same pattern can occur emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally.
Thoughts Can Creep
Our thoughts influence how we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Suppose you experience a disappointment. You begin thinking negatively about the situation. That is normal. But what happens when the thought stays? “I had a bad day” becomes “Nothing ever goes right.” “I made a mistake” becomes “I’m a failure.” “One person treated me badly” becomes “You can’t trust anybody.” The thought has crept from something specific into something much larger. Negative thinking can become habitual. We begin looking for evidence that confirms what we already believe. Instead of noticing what is going well, our attention becomes increasingly focused on what is wrong. That is why occasionally examining our own thinking is so important. We should ask ourselves: Is this thought accurate? Is it useful? Is it helping me move forward—or keeping me stuck?
Actions Can Creep
Behavior follows a similar pattern. Someone who exercised four days a week starts skipping one workout. Then two. Eventually, exercise disappears from the schedule. Someone who once enjoyed reading spends a little more time scrolling through a phone. Ten minutes becomes 30 minutes. Thirty minutes becomes two hours. A person procrastinates on one responsibility. Then another. Again, the individual decision may not seem significant. The problem is repetition. Positive habits are built through repetition, but unfortunately, negative habits are built the same way. What we repeatedly do eventually becomes easier to do. The question becomes: What behaviors am I practicing every day? Because whether we realize it or not, we are always practicing something.
Anger and Bitterness Can Creep
Perhaps one of the most damaging forms of creep involves anger. Most people experience anger, disappointment, frustration, and hurt. These are normal human emotions. The problem occurs when we continue feeding them. A disagreement becomes resentment. Resentment becomes bitterness. Bitterness begins influencing how we treat people who may have had nothing to do with the original problem. We may become less patient. Our words become sharper. We assume the worst about others. Eventually, anger becomes less about what happened and more about how we approach life. The person experiencing the anger may not even recognize the change because it happened gradually. That is the creep. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves a difficult question: “Am I becoming more angry than I used to be?” Self-awareness gives us the opportunity to change direction.
Attitudes Can Creep
Attitudes rarely change overnight either. A positive person can gradually become cynical. A grateful person can gradually become dissatisfied. A patient person can become increasingly impatient. Sometimes this happens because of difficult experiences. Sometimes it comes from repeatedly focusing on what we dislike. Sometimes we surround ourselves with negativity until negativity begins to feel normal. Complaining is a good example. Everyone complains occasionally. But complaining can become habitual. Eventually, we begin searching for things to complain about. Our attitude becomes a lens through which we view everything. That doesn’t mean we should ignore problems or pretend everything is wonderful. It means recognizing when a temporary frustration is becoming a permanent way of looking at life.
Motives Can Creep
Perhaps the most subtle creep involves our motives. We can begin something for the right reasons and gradually lose sight of why we started. Maybe we originally wanted to help people, but recognition becomes increasingly important. Maybe we wanted to succeed, but success gradually becomes comparison: “Am I doing better than everyone else?” Maybe we wanted financial security, but gradually money becomes the primary measurement of success. The activity may not have changed. Our reason for doing it has. That is why periodically asking ourselves “Why am I doing this?” can be so powerful. Our motives deserve the same attention we give our actions.
Stopping the Creep
There is an encouraging side to all of this.
If negative things can creep into our lives, positive things can creep in too.
Five minutes of exercise can become 10.
One healthy meal can become a healthier lifestyle.
One moment of gratitude can become a daily practice.
One act of kindness can change the way we interact with people.
One decision to forgive can begin loosening years of resentment.
One honest examination of our motives can help us rediscover our purpose.
Small choices work in both directions. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is awareness. Every so often, take an inventory of your life. Look at your physical health, thoughts, actions, relationships, attitudes, emotions, and motives. Ask yourself:
What is creeping into my life?
Then ask an even more important question:
Do I want it there?
If the answer is no, don’t wait until the problem becomes overwhelming. Make a small correction now.
Walk a little more.
Eat a little better.
Challenge one negative thought.
Apologize when necessary.
Let go of one resentment.
Practice gratitude.
Reconnect with your purpose.
Examine your motives.
Small negative choices compounded over time can create large problems. But small positive choices compounded over time can create an extraordinary life. We talk about stopping creeping obesity. Maybe it’s time to expand the message. Stop the creep—in your weight, your thoughts, your actions, your anger, your attitudes, and your motives. Because the direction of our lives is often determined not by one enormous decision, but by the small choices we make repeatedly when no one is paying attention.
Catch the creep early. Change direction. Keep moving toward the person you want to become.